College Freshman Drops Out After Receiving B-

MIDDLETOWN, CT – Like most college freshman, Wesleyan University student, Edward Stansan ‘20, started off his year with high hopes and an acute sense that he was smarter than everyone else on campus. Heading into the fourth week of the academic year, he had balanced his academic endeavors and thriving social life with ease. However, after an unlikely turn of events, Stansan decided to drop out of college yesterday after receiving a B- on his Intro to Sociology paper.

Asked how he felt after learning of the grade, Edward was indignant: “I was shocked when I saw the grade. Not only did I get a terrible score, but the professor wrote all these comments simply to belittle me and degrade all of my hard work, essentially implying that I should drop out. Like I got into this school and my mom only donated $700,000 like any good mother, so I deserve to be here. Who is he to not at least give me an A-.”

Asked whether he felt like he put enough effort into the paper, he responded: “I pulled an all nighter writing the paper for this class! I thought that’s how college works! I started the paper at 3am and was done by 6am. Shouldn’t the professor at least reward me in some way for the hard work?”

When asked if he tried to talk to the professor or simply do anything before he dropped out, Edward replied, “I had my mom talk to my professor, but he refused to raise my grade so I did what any person who cares about their future would do: drop out, take a gap year and then reapply next year.” He said that he talked to his friends and they all agreed, “ That B- would have stayed with me for life…how will I recover from that?!” He then stormed out of the interview yelling, “Fuck you, Michael Roth.”

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