Freshman Boy Not Sure It’s Clear He Listens to Chance the Rapper

MIDDLETOWN CT – Jason Walbs ‘20 stares up at his elaborately decorated wall on the second floor of Bennet and wonders one thing, “Will people know I listen to Chance the Rapper? And more importantly, will they know I like him?” Despite a poster devoted to the dates for the artist’s most recent tour and the album art for Acid Rap, Walbs just isn’t sure it’s enough. “I want people to walk in here and immediately know,” said Walbs.

When asked how long he had been listening to Chance the Rapper, Walbs did not comment. Upon further questioning, Walbs claimed that he had really always liked rap music. “Childish Gambino, Kendrick Lamar. I’ve been listening to Noname for way longer than you’d expect, too.” Though he then claimed he could list other rappers he really liked, none apparently came to mind. “They’re on the tip of my tongue,” said Walbs, before catching himself right as he was about to say Drake.

Friends of Walbs are reportedly amazed by the freshman’s ability to mention specific songs in nearly every conversation. “It’s crazy how quickly he’s ably to pivot to Chance,” said Charlie Pizzo, Walbs’ roommate. “It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even mention Sunday or Candy around him, let alone the way my girlfriend sometimes kisses me while wearing cocoa butter.”

All around the university, Walbs isn’t the only one eager to flaunt his knowledge of the young musician. According to recent polling data, 43% of incoming freshman not only like the rapper’s work, but also really just want to talk about how they think Surf is underrated. An additional 4% of students surveyed admitted to not actually going to the effort to listen to Coloring Book right when it came out, instead waiting for the Spotify release. For obvious reasons, the identities of these students will remain confidential.

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