Student Eats at Falafel While Sober; Extremely Disappointed

Middletown, CT – This past Wednesday night, Wesleyan student, Albert Printer ‘19, went to the famous Wesleyan late night eatery, Mamoun’s falafel, for a late night snack. Expectations were high from positive weekend experiences, but Printer left extremely disappointed with what he discovered.

“I had just spent an intense night studying in Olin — I wrote an entire paper and was feeling pretty great,” Printer explained, “as I walked back to my dorm, I glanced over on Pine and spotted it: Mamoun’s falafel.” He had to get it, he explained, citing his hungry stomach and productive night as justification.

“So, I went to the food truck and was super excited that there was no line. I went up and they looked at me and snapped at me, ‘What do you want?’ I ordered a falafel wrap with french fries because I’m not a chump. They wouldn’t even look at me when I handed over my twenty-dollar bill. They gave me 15 cents back and then denied giving me the wrong change. One of the coins was actually one of those novelty coins at theme parks you get from putting it in a machine and cranking a dial. It was pretty cool I guess, but correct change would have been nice.”

“About a half hour later they handed me what they claimed was the falafel wrap. It was anything but,” Printer continued. “The supposed pita was simply a paper towel, which is probably the reason there are no paper towels in the dorms anymore. The falafel balls were just burnt chickpeas mashed together, and the hummus was *probably* cream cheese. And I’m pretty sure the french fries were just small twigs. Needless to say, I was appalled.”

I caught up with Printer the following Saturday night while he was eating a falafel. Surprised that he had gone back, Printer explained while stumbling down the sidewalk towards Kickin Chicken, “This shit is da bomb. The thin pita is delicious.”

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