Ex-Girlfriend Celebrates Hanukkah By Refusing to Let Flame Die Out

   On December 6, your ex-girlfriend Samantha decided to celebrate Hanukkah early by refusing to let the flame die out.

   “Our colleges are only 246 miles away,” she said. “We can still make it if you drive up on the weekends.”

    The decision came about three eggnogs into a reunion party over winter break, when you both were feeling nostalgic. Next thing you knew, you were necking on your high school buddy’s couch and making all sorts of promises in the spirit of the holiday season.

    “I’m not really comfortable with an open relationship when we’re apart,” Samantha said the morning after. “A few months isn’t a very long time.”

    At the time you agreed, and it’s a little too late to go back on it now. Samantha just texted you; you should probably reply immediately. She’s buying plane tickets for spring break. Next year, you decide against going home for the holidays.

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