WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of the inauguration, hundreds of thousands of protestors have swarmed the National Mall, calling themselves the “Women’s March.” Although they are protesting the new administration, Trump does not seem bothered by the demonstrations.
“Women have always flocked to me,” Trump said. “It’s no surprise. I’m a star. Ladies love me, and these crowds are no exception.”
Senior advisors have tried to explain that these women are expressly anti-Trump to no avail.
“I’m a chick magnet. What can I say?” Trump continued.
Upon closer inspection of the protestors’ signs, Trump became enraged and quickly changed his tune.
“On second thought, these women are very ugly.” Trump said. “Four out of ten, would not bang. The women at my inauguration were much hotter. There were loads of ’em. Believe me.”