Snowstorm Makes Wesleyan Even Whiter than It Already Is

Like every student on campus today, Gene Drezman ’20 woke up to discover that he was surrounded by an “overwhelming whiteness”. “When I opened up my blinds this morning, I was so shocked that I knocked over my collection of Frasier DVD’s”, said Drezman, expertly kicking around a hacky sack as he talked to our correspondent. “It’s suffocatingly white out there” George lamented,  whilst cracking open a can of La Croix and then dropping the needle on the latest Bon Iver album. When asked what his plans were for the rest of the day, George said that 95% of his film class was headed over to hate watch 50 Shades of Grey. “We just need a respite from all that white”.

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