Freshman Survival Guide

Starting your first year at college can be scary, but don’t worry – the Groundhog’s got you covered with some hot tips to give you the confidence of a second week freshman on your first day.

  1. To get really close with your roommate, surprise them by pushing your beds together.
  2.  Don’t burn the candle at both ends. Throw the candle in an oven so it melts all at once.
  3. Don’t be afraid to break out the acoustic guitar during a party the first few nights, especially if you’re a white man. It’s always a crowd pleaser.
  4.  Don’t forget an ample supply of tuna cans. Never know when you’ll need one. They’re the new mason jar.
  5.  It’s important to post as much as you can on Wesadmits. The more you post, the more popular you will be at Wes.  The race starts now.
  6. Jazz hands!
  7. College is a great time to reinvent yourself. Switch things up a bit by dedicating your life to wining the next Lumberjack World Championships.
  8. Got a lot of reading for your FYS but not enough time? Try reading the back of the book for a good summary.
  9. Wear your lanyard as much as possible in order to let other freshmen know that you’re not only stylish, but also ready to make friends.
  10. Watch out for ghosts.
  11. Crack open a cold one with the boys. And by cold one, we mean a cold can of that sweet sweet tuna that you were smart enough to remember.
  12. To break the ice during orientation, have a set of questions ready, like “Where are you from”, “Where are you living”, “What’s your relationship with your father”, and “What are you planning on studying?”
  13. Be yourself.
  14. If you don’t have headphones, try bringing a speaker to the library.
  15. Assert dominance on your hall by hitting the biggest kid.
  16. Be sure to talk about your high school as if everyone else went there too.
  17. The general etiquette of Intro Sociology is to speak as much as possible, even if you think there’s nothing more to be said. Everyone loves hearing your opinion!
  18. Think in code. Mind readers could be anywhere, and you don’t want them to know where you hid your precious tuna.
  19.  Everyone loves tossing a frisbee around Andrus Field, but you can switch it up by throwing some vinyl for the record player you didn’t bring in order to stand out from the crowd.
  20. Pro tip! There’s an ancient sorcerer living in the tunnels under the CFA. If you catch him, you get to graduate immediately. Watch out! He seals souls in his witch’s staff.
  21. While walking around campus, make loud beeping noises so people know you’re coming.
  22. Surprise tuna party!
  23. A like on WesAdmits is the equivalent of a proposition to room together so lock that down ASAP.
  24. Study up on 11th century French feudalism before you make a fool out of yourself.
  25. Can’t seem to get laid? Don’t worry about it too much. There are plenty of fish in the sea and plenty chicken of the sea that would never ditch you for your friend.
  26. Continue to check the Brown waitlist well into your first semester. You never know.

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