“I Studied Abroad But My Life Still Sucks”

MIDDLETOWN, CT – When rising senior Lindsey Framingham returned from her semester abroad, she was disappointed to realize that even after spending several months in [insert overpriced European city here], her life still sucked, and she was still the same mediocre person she was before.

“I thought my study abroad program would be life-changing, but the minute I got back to campus things had returned to normal, or in fact had deteriorated in my absence,” Framingham said. “I also immediately forgot 50 vocabulary words I had learned while abroad.”

Unsurprisingly, Framingham did not think her wasted time had anything to do with the fact that she spent every free hour drinking overpriced cocktails and flirting with European men. If anything, she now lived her life in a perpetual downslope now that nothing could compare to the fun she had abroad.

“I totally want to like, move back someday. Life moves at a different pace over there, you know? They really have it all figured out,” Framingham said of a country whose entire economy depended on Germany.

Despite the aftertaste of disappointment, Framingham has retained the smug sense of superiority every college junior adopts after studying abroad. She will continue to reference the experience well into her anticlimactic 40s.

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