MIDDLETOWN, CT — With Halloweekend approaching, hookup and party culture at Wesleyan is in full force. You want to indulge in the night life, but you don’t want to disappoint your FGSS professor. How does the average college student stay up-to-date on feminist principle while still having sex with chauvinistic assholes? The Groundhog is here to help.
- Laugh it off.
Brad just made a pretty sexist comment at the LAX pregame. Are you gonna be a buzzkill and ruin your chances with him? No, better just laugh it off. It was a pretty funny joke, you just need to lighten up a bit!
2. Claim “He’s not usually like this” whenever he does anything characteristically shitty.
Yeah, Tyler was acting pretty creepy at Pine Palace last night. He was really drunk, though. He’s usually a total sweetheart, like 30% of the time.
3. Hold everyone else to a higher standard than your own.
You don’t have to recognize your partner’s very conspicuous faults when you’re too busy criticizing everyone else’s ideological purity. Toss around phrases like, “You deserve so much better” while continuing to ignore your own glaring hypocrisies.
4. Claim it’s sexual liberation and then plug your ears with wax when anyone asks you to explain further.
You can’t hear them now!
5. Make a bunch of softboy memes to feel better about yourself.