Smoke Alarm Just A Total Fucking Narc

MIDDLETOWN, CT — Last Saturday, a total bitch of a smoke alarm decided to go off, causing dozens of students to evacuate the premises of 202 Washington. The good-for-nothing robot screech burst eardrums and more importantly, totally fucking snitched on local resident Gabrielle Perez ’20.

“That smoke alarm is a total fucking narc,” Perez said. “I mean yeah, it could potentially save me from burning to death or asphyxiation, but at what cost?”

The cost turned out to be about fifteen dollars worth of confiscated alcohol. Public Safety had inspected the offending smoke alarm, confirming that it was just being a little bitch.

“That smoke alarm really needs to chill. It totally killed the vibe,” Public Safety officer Frida Klaussen said. “Doesn’t it know that snitches get stitches?”

No signs of actual smoke had been confirmed, proving that the smoke alarm was actually just a total asshole.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s