Espwesso Renamed ‘Wespresso’ After Realizing It Was Honestly Just Such a Better Name

MIDDLETOWN, CT – The staff formerly known as Espwesso workers congregated in Pi Cafe this Tuesday evening for their biweekly meeting, emerging an hour and a half later with big news: The Espwesso cafe was going to be renamed “Wespresso.”

Kyle Jackson ‘20, an active barista, first proposed the idea.

“It just kind of seemed obvious, to be honest,” Jackson explained, “I mean people kept stumbling over the original name whenever they said it. Plus, like, the Wesleyan part isn’t even emphasized.”

“When Kyle first brought up the idea we were all kind of stunned,” said co-worker Brandy Larchmont ‘19. “It took a few seconds for it to sink in for everyone, but after that we came to a pretty quick consensus that we liked the idea, plus now I can actually tell my friends back home where I work without them thinking I mispronounced the word ‘expresso.’”

The cafe’s management said that it will take a while to make the new name official, as they have to remake and reprint the logo, t-shirts, and rewrite the blackboard menu, so we shouldn’t expect an actual change until mid 2021. Until then, you can visit the student-run cafe under Allbritton for some coffee, just as long as you don’t come before 9am or after 1pm Monday through Thursday, or at all on a Friday.

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