Semester Going Pretty Well For Student Who Lowered Their Standards

MIDDLETOWN, CT — After a chaotic fall, things have been progressing steadily for sophomore Alton Nickels, who has learned to sideline their hopes and dreams.

“Once I gave up on raising my GPA, participating fully in extracurriculars, and maintaining a social life, I began to feel a sense of peace,” Nickels said.

The beginning of spring semester can be a hectic time for students, with internship deadlines, changing social landscapes, and dreary weather to boot. Nickels no longer worries about the little things —or the big things— because they’ve learned to accept mediocrity.

“I definitely recommend that everyone else lower their standards, too,” Nickels affirmed. “They’d be happier, and also maybe then I’d get laid.”

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