SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Valentine’s Day can be hard for singles and couples alike. What gift do you get? What hard liquor do you drink? Regardless of your relationship status, there’s someone you can always thank this Valentine’s season: your ex. Why not let them know how much you treasured your time together with this thoughtful gifts?
1. The flame that never goes out.
At first glance, this may look like a flaming pile of dog shit, but upon closer look it is actually a metaphor for your storied relationship. Things started out hot, but in the end, it was all just shit.
2. Faceless Teddy Bear
Since your ex is already two-faced, they might want to cuddle with a faceless bear to make up the difference.
3. Your therapy bill
Give them the gift that keeps on giving, because you aren’t going to stop going to therapy anytime soon. This gift will really let them know how often you think of them, and what an impression they had on your life. If they’re as successful as they say they are, a little therapy bill won’t be a problem for them!