Student Mixes Emergen-C with 8 Shots of Svedka

MIDDLETOWN, CT – This Wednesday at approximately 10:48pm John Klappert ‘20 found his roommate, Connor Lebrat ‘20, passed out at his desk surrounded by used tissues, three empty packets of emergency, a handle of Svedka, and around 40 flashcards with the words “Fuck Orgo” written on each one.

According to hallmates, Lebrat, a Chemistry major, has been particularly stressed about his Organic Chemistry class after receiving at 57% on the last quiz and having to prepare for a midterm this upcoming Friday.

Although Lebrat would only respond to our questions with, “I just don’t even know anymore,” Klappert was available for comments:

“I was just like, ‘Dude what the fuck?’ Like this is college, dude, you’re not supposed to be stressed,” Klappert said, astonished. “I mean, like I know he has a scholarship riding on his grades, but like at least keep your mental health to yourself.”

Now that the semester has kicked into full swing, stress levels will be at their highest until finals season, and colds will be passed around like a Juul at a pregame. For now, all we can hope is that Wesleyan students will be respectful enough to just not bother others with these minute issues.


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