MIDDLETOWN, CT – According to numerous sources, the wrong Mark was added to the group chat this past weekend, to potentially disastrous results. “I don’t know how this could have happened!” reported Kyle Harris ‘21, a founding member of the group chat. “Mark Feingold instead of Mark Warrens? What a nightmare!”
When questioned, Pete Kledgemore ‘21 explained why this was such a dangerous situation. “We know Mark Feingold pretty well, like well enough that he could be added to the group chat, but not well enough that we want to add him to the group chat. You know?” The freshman, visibly shaken by the experience, went on to explain that though they didn’t want him in the group chat to begin with, it would be so much worse to remove him now.
The group has had to make a new group chat with the correct Mark, but many are worried even this won’t fix the situation. “What if Mark Feingold starts wondering why no one has texted since he was added? We’re going to have to keep texting in this chat forever, just so he doesn’t realize what happened,” Harris said, before going on to point out that the stakes were really very high since he has two classes with the dude and doesn’t want things to get awkward.