Alum Dad A Little Too Comfortable Back on Campus

MIDDLETOWN, CT — With Parents’ Weekend in full swing, Wesleyan alum Robert Miller ’84 has been settling in a little too comfortably on campus while visiting his freshman son, Rob Jr.

“He just took off his shoes and started reading on Foss the moment he got here,” Rob Jr. ’22 said. “He keeps trying to tell me about the time he did shrooms at Wadsworth. He calls all my professors by their first names.”

Miller’s nostalgic and overly familiar behavior has driven a wedge between the visiting family. His enthusiasm to revisit “the old stomping grounds” is only rivaled by his disdain for how “soft” everyone has gotten since he attended.

“He keeps dragging me to acapella showcases,” Rob Jr. continued helplessly. “I never should have applied. The legacy bump isn’t even worth it.”

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