PHILADELPHIA, PA — After facing consequences for her actions for the first time in years, local woman Sydney Robertson has decided to swear off all fuckboys, as they must be the sole source of her hardships.
Robertson has reportedly made a Spotify playlist to commemorate the occasion, titled, “SELF CARE <33” featuring “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande, “Party for One” by Carly Rae Jepsen, and “Liability” from Lorde’s MELODRAMA period. Robertson has expressed this new desire for self-love/pity on account of the fact that no one wants to deal with her bullshit anymore.
Last weekend for Halloween, Robertson dressed as a fuckboy, which caused much confusion among partygoers who could not tell the costume apart from her usual attire.
“I’m just like, so focusing on myself right now,” Robertson stated, as if this was any different from her normal selfish behavior.