We’ve all been there: you need to cry, but for whatever reason your room isn’t an option. Maybe it’s far away; maybe you’ve been sexiled; maybe you live in a Clark triple. Here you can find a range of options for places to cry, including descriptions of each along with the best time, motive, and volume for crying in each location.
Usdan Late Night:
From 9:30pm-1:00am seven days a week, Usdan serves up a variety of greasy cuisine that will make you feel better for a little while and then much, much worse.For those who choose to get their food to stay, there is a special treat: an ideal spot for a late-night cry to go along with your late-night snack. This is a great spot for interspersing your lamenting with work on an assignment that’s due the next morning. It’s rarely heavily populated, and most people are sitting alone eating and working–therefore they won’t pay much attention to you.
Best time: Open 9:30pm-1:00am; best time to go is after 11 to minimize number of people likely to be there
Motive: Best for academia-related crying
Volume: You could probably get to a medium-high volume without drawing too much attention to yourself, depending on how loud your fellow diners are
Allbritton 311 Penthouse:
If you’re willing to make the trek up all those stairs or spend the time waiting for the elevator, the top floor of Allbritton (officially Allbritton 311 but what I call the Allbritton Penthouse because I like feeling like Gossip Girl) offers a lovely spot for some weeping with a view. If the weather’s nice you can step out onto the balcony and look out over Middletown while you cry–almost, but not quite, making you feel like you’re in a music video. Even if it’s not balcony-friendly weather, it’s still a great spot for a nice, elegant weeping session. What’s nice about this place is that you can easily bring a buddy in case it’s the kind of emotions that a friend can guide you through. The downside is that it’s a popular spot for hosting events so you may be interrupted by a guest lecturer or an improv group.
Best time: Whenever there’s not an event (daytime is your best bet)
Motive: Any motive will do!
Volume: I would keep it on the quieter side as sound travels surprisingly well through the Allbritton staircase
Sometimes you gotta say: “Fuck it, I’m going to cry on Foss.” Obviously this is more feasible when there’s not snow on the ground or when it’s not raining but the truly committed will find a way to make it work year-round. What’s nice about Foss is that its atmosphere is very dependent on outside circumstances and events. You can cry during Tent Party while contemplating the inevitable passage of time or you can sniffle during Spring Fling because you saw your crush making out with someone else. There are certainly times of the year when Foss is covered with young people, but don’t be afraid to brave harsher weather even if it means you’re the only person on the hill.
Best time: Evening
Motive: Best for existential crises
Volume: Any volume you want! You’re outside! No rules!
Crying in the backyards between Fountain Ave and Pine Ave is a very specific maneuver that should not be attempted by those new to public emotional displays. Note that I’m not recommending going into a stranger’s backyard to cry; rather, I encourage you to consider the merits of crying during a party in the senior backyards when the weather is nice near the beginning or end of the academic year. While there are often small areas reserved for dancing, the majority of the space will be full of people milling around, usually in pairs or small groups. This is an ideal time to cry to a friend about any number of social woes: trouble in a friendship, a certain someone not texting you back, or worse the wrong someone having the audacity to text you out of the blue. On a typical evening everyone will be too focused on the trajectory of their own nights to pay you any heed, and once you get out your emotions you have the options of dancing to rejuvenate or going home to sleep it off.
Best time: Late in the night; 1am-3am is ideal
Motive: Best for interpersonal issues
Volume: As long as the music is nice and loud you can be as loud as you need to be
Secret Science Library Study Room:
While studying for midterms during my first semester at Wesleyan I discovered a secret study room in Exley. It’s always empty, clean, and quiet; it’s the perfect size for one person and I’ve never met anyone else who knows about it. I can’t give you any more information, but trust me, it’s a great place to hole up and cry. This is another great spot to have a sobbing and studying combo session, especially because it’s on a dead end hallway that gets very little traffic. This is a nice spot because the chances are high that no one will find you so you can take your time in processing through your feelings and regaining your composure. I would recommend crying here after you’ve had a long, stressful day or week and something small is the final straw to send you into a meltdown.
Best time: Early evening (before you really settle into studying)
Motive: Emotional relief after a tough time
There comes a time in every student’s life when they need the extra protection of a sound-proofed room to do some crying: that’s where the practice rooms come in. These rooms are on the lower level of the music studios building in the Center for the Arts. What’s great about these rooms is that there are plenty of them and they’re largely sound-proofed; what’s less ideal is that they have glass doors so anyone walking down the hall can look in and see you. I would argue, however, that the pros outweigh the cons, as if you don’t want to be seen you can always position yourself in the corner that’s hidden from view of the hall. The wifi down here is very spotty so it’s a nice chance to pretend to disconnect from social media for a while and do some private reflection.
Best time: Daytime; area will be busier in the evening with people actually wanting to practice music
Motive: Reflective crying
Volume: Any volume you want! It’s soundproofed!
Steps of Olin Memorial Library:
While many of us have wonderfully supportive communities here on campus, you will probably, at some point, need to cry while on the phone with someone. The best place for this is on the steps of Olin Memorial Library. I personally would recommend this as a great spot to cry while on the phone with your mom questioning every decision you’ve ever made. People walking in and out of the library will be unfazed because the steps are such a popular spot for emotional outbursts. Just be sure to sit on the sides of the steps rather than in the middle so as to avoid blocking traffic.
Best time: Literally anytime. Can be its own trip to Olin or a study break while your friend watches your stuff. For an extra-special power move, try a weekend night
Motive: Homesickness; feeling out of place; questioning your life decisions
Volume: On the quieter side
Please keep in mind that this list is far from comprehensive; rather, it is meant to give a sense of some overlooked gems for emotional release here on the campus of Wesleyan University. There are certainly plenty of other places to let out some tears, but seek them out at your own risk: some places, like the Mongolian Grill line or the Exley Science Center lobby, will do in a pinch but are not ideal. The reality of the situation is while some of us do it more than others, everyone can benefit a good cry now and then, especially in an environment as emotionally, mentally, and physically taxing as college. Whether it’s because of interpersonal, academic, financial, familial, or mental health challenges, I wish you all the best in your crying and I promise you’ll feel at least a little better after.