Usdan Introduces New, Girthier Ice Cream Scoop

The wait is over. After many students have expressed frustration surrounding Usdan’s uncomfortably long ice cream scoops, Bon Appetit has unveiled brand new, girthier stainless steel scoops. The added weight and heft is meant to ease scooping for the less-endowed ice cream lovers.

“We’ve heard your complaints” a Bon Appetit representative said. “The Usdan ice cream scoop was always long, but now it’s also girthy.”

The new thicker scoops require a two-handed grip for the full load of creamy goodness. For best results, put on a Sufjan Stevens Spotify playlist to allow the ice cream to soften.

“I’ve always been embarrassed to scoop ice cream in Usdan because it just took too long and my arms would get tired,” first-year Alex Oneida said. “But this chode scoop gets the job done in half the time.”

So the next time you reach for a fat scoop of corn-flavored ice cream, enjoy the comfort and convenience of the revolutionary new handle. You won’t ever go back.

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